So, this is the end of this year’s journey of trying to become a civil servant. I’ve passed the administrative selection and failed in the standard competence test. The test consisted of civics, general intelligence, and personality sections. Guess what? I failed in the personality one! That is so absurd. :))
I am sad, of course, but that is already predicted. I could blame the exorbitant passing grade, the construct validity or reliability, or the absurd reasoning behind it or whatever, the fact remains: I fail, some of my colleagues succeed.
It does not matter, though. I could still teach without being a civil servant, right?
Or can I?
Actually the idea behind joining the test had never crossed my mind before. My passion is in teaching. I did not really care about career and all the perks of being a contract or a tenure-track lecturer (like, scholarship or research funding.) I pay for my own tuition and I could write and conduct any research without the burden of answering to any institution. My responsibility is to my research and the academic community and that’s it. You can say that i have a commitment issue or what but staying ‘freelance’ affords me the kind of freedom the contract/tenure lecturers don’t have.
Until last semester. I almost didn’t get any class because the contract lecturers had to meet class quota, hence got prioritized, and i should step aside and give all my classes to them away. I was almost out of job and was already on my way to apply to other unis, until the head of the department stepped in and vetoed the policy. I needed to be given a class no matter what just so I could stay working there.
So, there was a little bit friction in the department and I thought I couldn’t be so selfish and stay there without willing to step up and sign the contract. I could no longer just do as I wish, come teaching and then go home. I needed to also be involved in the academic and non-academic duties like the others. I needed to decide, all or nothing, it’s a do or die matter.
And so I did decide.
I did all the procedures of becoming a contract lecturer: apply, interview, micro-teaching, etc. That was when I thought: if I have to commit myself to any institution (pun intended), I might as well get the better deal and be in a tenure track and eat the tax-payer’s money while doing the thing I love, right? That is the idea behind joining the CPNS test. Turns out I’m not even qualified for it, personality-wise. Hahahahahahahaha…
From the look of it, 90% chance I’m still gonna be a contract lecturer. It’s been drafted but I haven’t signed the paper. But there’s that 10% of me not staying in the uni. I love teaching and so I will put myself in the job market still. If worse comes to worst, then I will finish my PhD, call it taking a sabbatical leave just so I will not feel as sad (hahahaha), and write.
Oh, and there’s also Algostudio and Algorocks. And we’ve been thinking about having Algopub as well.
So, it’s not that bad, after all.