Hari jum’at-sabtu lalu saya ikut tes, and i messed up, big time. Biasanya kalau tes saya nyantai aja hasilnya mau gimana, tapi saya tidak suka dengan perasaan bahwa I could do more, do better. And that was one of those times. Udah persiapan latihan macam-macam sih sebelumnya, eh… tapi tesnya berbeda. Latihannya tes TPA dan nananininya tapi yang muncul tes menggambar and spatial recognition, which… I’m totally bad at that. Well, i could blame it on my ocular migraine and vertigo, but let’s be real: it was just an excuse. It was what it was.
Yang parah tuh hari kedua, pas micro-teaching. The topic was impromptu, I was excited at first, but then I really really really completely zoned out nearing my time, and had a complete stage freight during the performance.
It was a giant total mess. I wanted to bury my head in the sand after that.
I still do.